remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
