your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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