you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
