The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
