you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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