i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
