I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Randomize
