he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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