Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
