What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
