im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
