Nicole vs. Life
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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