Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
