My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
