You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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