Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
