Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
