i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
