If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I touched a dick in church today
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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