it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
