I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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