WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
