Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
