Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
