Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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