i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
