when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
