You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize