I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
