I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
