If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
