im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
