it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
