come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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