i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
