I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
