i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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