let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
