It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
