I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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