There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
