You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
