So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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