The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
