it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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