There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
