We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My life is pants optional.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
