You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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