carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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