that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
