my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
