I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
